I've never given thought to the concept a fellow HCGer presented to me after hearing of my emotional struggles with food.
- What if? What if I just STOPPED? -
Stopped dieting. Stopped restricting. Stopped obsessing. Stopped worrying. Stopped the internal monologue. Stopped judging myself. Stopped criticizing myself.
If you have self-esteem (something I've apparently been lacking) - this concept may seem common-sense to you. But to me? The perpetually chubby? The thought never crossed my mind.
I've been thinking about it over the last twenty four hours and... I don't know if I LOVE myself enough to do it.
I want to. I really do.
I want to be able to shrug and truly not be bothered that I have to do a fancy little shimmy to get my fitted skirts over my hips.
I want to be able to cut all the size tags out of my skirts.
I want to be able to eat when I'm hungry and *gasp* not eat when I'm full.
I want to know what it is like to love myself unconditionally.
I want to be able to treat myself as a friend, not the enemy.
I want to know what it feels like to wake up each day without the mentally exhausting internal beating of a disappointed fat chick.