Friday, December 16, 2011

It's Not You

It's me.

Whatever you may glean from my blog - I want to be perfectly clear that this person that is coming across is who I have always been.

This person (dark, light, happy, sad, cheery, bitchy, fat, thin, loud, quiet) is all Me.

Some of you may know all of me - every last shred of truth that has created my personality.

And some of you may know the happy parts and only the happy parts.

And some of you may know more about the dark parts than you care to admit.

But - aren't we all pieces of a puzzle?
Don't we all find ourselves searching for missing sections of ourselves?
Wondering if there will ever be enough pieces to glue together?
To keep the whole picture together on a solid foundation so we can one day stand back and admire who we have become?

A wise friend of mine shared with me a powerful statement - wise beyond my years, for sure - that we are each damaged in one way or another. And at the very core of every human being is the desire to have love not in spite of our damage but because of who we are - damage and all.

(She probably said it a little more eloquently than that - but another fun tidbit about myself is that my recall skills are basically zip.)

All this to say that if you find yourself feeling sad for Little Laura or mad at Grown Laura or confused by spill-your-heart-out Laura - just remember that you have something in common with all those Lauras. The desire for love and acceptance. Love from others, yes. But love and acceptance from yourself above all.

PS - I promised a swimsuit picture - but this blog post took an unexpected self-help turn and a tankini picture doesn't seem as appropriate as it once was.

PPS - When have I ever been termed "appropriate"?

PPPS - I've decided not to disclose all the negative things I thought about my body at this age. That part of me has long-since healed and I see no reason to tear down this beautiful teen Laura in a feeble attempt at full-disclosure.

Much love and kisses!
All the Lauras here at the HighWeigh